Nice work if you can get it

How would you like a job where all you have to do is get out of bed in the morning? Actually, you wouldn’t technically have to do that, either. Can’t beat the commute. Or the hours. And your daily grind includes doing whatever the hell you want, but you can’t play professional baseball for the Detroit Tigers. How much would you expect to be paid for that job?

I’d be happy to have that job at a sustenance income. Gary Sheffield, (former) designated hitter for the Detroit Tigers, has that job for 1 year, at a pleasant little $14,000,000. Which, in normal-people terms, is enough money to never have to work again. Fourteen million with a job description of “don’t play for the Detroit Tigers”. Damn. I’m qualified to not play for them. I’d happily do it for 500 grand. They’d be getting a bargain, because I’ve demonstrated that I’m much better at not playing for them than Sheffield is. Though I imagine he’ll adjust.

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