Slap a warning label on the entire planet and be done with it

New warning label of the day:
Attention stupid people: All animals are alive, and therefore capable of hosting harmful viruses.
Unfortunately, there’s a lawsuit out there, as I type this, against PetSmart based on the lack of this warning label. Three people have allegedly died because they allegedly received organ donations from a woman who allegedly contracted a virus from an alleged hamster that was allegedly purchased at PetSmart. Let’s examine this:

  1. You’re lucky to receive an organ that you could not otherwise live without.
  2. If anybody is responsible for ensuring the organ is virus-free, it’s the hospital.
  3. Viruses are everywhere. You run the risk of contracting a virus if you ever come into contact with another mammal. Possibly even if you don’t.
  4. The hamster in question may not have even been infected at the time of purchase.

It’s always a tragedy when a person dies, but that does not mean there’s always somebody to blame, or that the family (and its shady lawyer) deserves some sort of cash payout. How in the hell can anybody expect PetSmart to give money to the family of a man who died without ever actually shopping at PetSmart? (“If you had put a warning label on that pet cage, we’d have known better than to accept an organ donation from anybody who ever owned a hamster!”…WTF?)

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  • Jay  On April 17, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    The problem is the threshold for determining a frivolous lawsuit is too high so there is almost no disincentive to these lawsuits.

    My solution: You want to sue for damages? Put up a bond for some small amount (let’s say 1% of the damages you ask for). If you win, you get the bond money back (even if you only win the suit without all the damages). You lose, you forfeit the bond. This does not disenfranchise the poor as, if they have a good case, plenty of lawyers will front the bond money to get their 30% of the damages.

  • Craig Maloney  On April 18, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    I think Warren Zevon’s album title says it all: “Life’ll kill ya”.

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